World renowned war criminal. Current and Former President of Russia. Former KGB officer and Donald J Trump‘s best friend.
Born to a disappointed mother, Maria, on her 30th day of sobriety and an space ghoul trapped on earth, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin was born on October 7, 1952 in Leningrad, Russia SFSR, in the Soviet Union. Putin attended public school and learned German while his parents kept him locked in a room, known as the second Siege of Leningrad in which they refused to give him hugs or any affection in typical Russian tradition.
A taxi (analog Uber) driver by trade, Putin’s mediocre grades and vacant resting dictator face led him to be recruited by the KGB where is collecting newspaper clippings for Russia from Dresden, Germany before briefly returning to the Leningrad in the reserves until his resignation following the the coup against Mikhail Gorbachev in 1991.
After paying his dues and blowing several hundred members of the Russia Duma over 9 year period, on December 31, 1999, Boris Yeltsin resigned and Vadimir “Pooty Poo” Putin became Acting President of the Russian Federation. After the “Acting” job title feel out a window and into a pool of Plutonium, he became President of Russia on May 7, 2000 and swiftly repaid his debt to Satan by sacrificing 118 Russian submariners in August 2000.
His reign of terror ebbed and flowed, murdering babies who gave him the stink eye and journalists who made crude comments about his comb-over, as he switch from top to bottom in 2008 when Dmitry Medvedev after his first term as president ended, where as Prime Minister, he served his first term in the White House (Russian) In 2012, he was elected President of Russia in a rigged election.
In 2016, DJ Pooty Poo was elected President of the United States of American through his proxy, Donald J Trump.
On February 24, 2022, Russia children invaded Ukraine under Putin’s orders as an escalation of a war started in 2014, and were slaughtered by Ukrianian forces using EU produced NLAWs and U.S. made Javelins, nicknamed “the can opener” for its effectiveness decapitating Russian tanks. The Ukrainian Territorial Defense Tractor Corp captured hundreds of Russian tanks, effectively looting Putin’s government.